post #66: Trying.Trying.And still trying.

.wrote this way back in Jan 2009. didn't complete it until tonight. time to reflect.




Saharil Hasrin Sanin wrote in New Malaysian Essay 1 , untranslated, "semakin pantas kaki berlari,semakin banyak benda yang ditinggalkan dibelakangnya".

That is the truth, is it not?When we run, things get left behind. This statement catches me instantly when i first read his article inside the book which i've borrowed from Afiq (dah nak dekat 3 bulan kot buku nih dengan aku. mamat tuh x mintak2 balik pon. x nak dah ke?).

As human, we seek changes in life to TRY to complete it. The word TRY here gives a thousand meaning. We TRY to complete our life because there is no completeness in life itself. There would always be PROBLEMS. Be it big or small, a life can never be without problems. The moment we are introduced into the world, we give PROBLEMS to our dearest parents. We cry all night long not allowing our parents to have a goodnite sleep. We poop as we like regardless where we are, what we wear or who we're with. We crave for everything that we desire regardless of whether our parents can afford it or not. We puke at the expense of our mother's new dress.

And then we evolve from an innocent little infant to a destructive child. Ahh...the monstrosity.

We terrorize.We put in everything that we can grab into our mouth. And spitting everything that we taste bitter. We break everything we find unsuitable and that we dislike. We cry our lungs out just to get our parents attention. We ride our father on the back as if he's a ride in the funfair.

And then came our little brother or sister. Ahh..the first taste of jealousy. We forbid our uncles and aunts to carry our sibling around. Instead we ask ourselves to be carried and to play superman around the house. We hug our mothers tightly at the sight of them right after we woke up just so that they cannot breastfeed our sibs. We left our sibs when he or she is crying, desperately in need of food or pamper. We took their chocolate when mommy or daddy isn't watching and watch them helplessly cry, we smile with pride. What a list of problems had we given only our parents in that growing years alone.

Dont get me started on primary schools.Let alone secondary..this blog might be the longest post ever in the history of blogging. The point is, PROBLEMS are created whether we like it or not. Thus a complete life, is nothing but a sad hoax. And to TRY to complete it, we change things. And by what Saharil means by 'berlari' is of course, change. We change our lives from time to time just so that we can live a pseudo-perfect life.

But, often we forget that just because we change our lives doesnt mean we're doing the right thing. Yes, change is good but only when it is in the right direction. Barack Hussein Obama is trying to change America, and let us hope -God Willing-that he change America in the right direction. (for starters, stop acknowledging Israel, please. You dont need a flashlight to know why Mr.President).Politics aside, to change means to try new things and leave other things behind. Some changes are easy. Some break hearts. To try new clothes and let a fren have our old ones is nothing. But saying goodbye to a girl your share almost 10 month of your life with is not something that you can do without hurting yourself.

To change, courage and the pure willingness to change for the better is needed. Hijrah as my religion calls it. Me, myself am trying to berhijrah to a desirable state in life and clearly I'm nowhere near perfectness.Oopps.pseudo-perfectness. Some humans are moved by the desire to be the best. Some are moved by the changes made by their peers or the people around them. Humans are copycats of the other. True. When one see the other is different, then he might have the desire to change to the differentness that the other possesses. At times, changes can be painful. Thus, one's courage would come into play. Sheikh Muzaphar made a great risk when he opted to join the Angkasawan program, leaving his full time career of RM 10,000.00 a month earnings just to act on the will to change. And he did just that. He changed the mind of young Malaysians, opening up to the rare idea of space and the spice that comes with it. (And then he was charged of earning profits from his lecture series but of course, that is another story. See the pseudo-perfectness i referred to?)

We may 'berlari' towards, regardless of what obstacles we may face, but we must also be prepared to 'tinggalkan' our normality and our comfort zone. 2009 is only a month old. Its not too late to take a look at our already dusty piece of paper that we wrote our new years resolution's list and try to live each and every one of it.

Lets change and be the change that we want to be all this while.

At least, I'm trying. What about you?