Naik kering jugaklah telinga aku dengar suara sayup mama dok panggil name timang-timangan aku kat rumah. Adakala nada die tinggi, adakala rendah, kekadang monotonus. Dah macam dengar iPod on shuffle. Bezanya cuma ada satu lagu jek.

"Abaaaaanng. Abaaaaaanng. Abaaaannng".

Mama dah tercegat kat pintu bilik gua. Ah sudah! Ini dah bahaya. Kalau gua tak bangkit jugak nih mahu die sebut nama penuh gua dengan nada penuh tegas, lagi tegas dari suara abang askar macho misai kumis iklan Dequadin dulu.

Aku angkat kepala, kornea aku cuba adjust dengan cahaya setelah lebih 6 jam kena sorok dengan kelopak. Kecut hati aku lima saat tengok satu lembaga putih elok berdiri pegang tombol bilik. Baru aku nak menjerit, mata aku bagi signal dekat otak recognize Mama pakai telekung. Baru lepas Subuh agaknya. Huish. Bahaya betul. Janganlah kejut aku pakai method2 seram camnih. Silap haribulan ada pecah tingkap bilik nak lari punya pasai.

"Bangun elok.Subuh cepat".

Berat.Nih rantai jenis apelah Raja Iblis ni guna ikat aku pagi-pagi camnih. Titanium gamaknya. Susah betol gua nak melepasinye. Dengan kudrat gua yang tak seberapa ini gua bangkit jugak. Sejuk tak hingat. Mana taknya tidur pakai boxer dengan singlet pastuh reostat kipas letak nombor 5.

Gua capai kain pelikat. Bau dah semacam. Adik aku punya la nih. Eceh macam aku punye wangi sangat. Lepas siap solat gua capai tuala plak. Lama rasenya gua tak mandi awal2 subuh camnih. Masa praktikal dulu selalulah jugak merasa mandi awal pagi. Pukul 5.30 dah bangkit, kol 6.15 da kuar rumah.

Hari nih kena semangat sikit bangun pagi. Angah punye konvo pagi nih. Bukan selalu gua tengok adik gua sendiri konvo. Dan bukan selalu jugak adik konvo dulu dari abang dia. Eh?

….INI….SUMPAH….AWKWARD….

Tapi apelah salahnya gua simpan ego gua dalam kocek sehari nih dan enjoice a special day for my brother. Kehadiran ke Majlis Konvokesi adik gua meriah gilo. Ade gak la satu dua van gua tengok masuk Poli die hari tuh. Nasib takde yang bawak sepanduk jek.

Oso, gua tak sangka budak2 Poli nih ramai yang sedap dipandang. Lelagi hari tuh elok semua berbaju kurung putih. Amboi macam bidadari 7 petala langit! Mama dah pandang gua semacam bila gua dok usha je budak2 baju kurung putih tuh. Eh? Cinta tak mengenal pangkat ketinggian pengajian tinggi Ma.

Graduan duduk depan. Family lepak belakang. Jenuh jugakla aku try carik kepala Angah kat mane depan seat tuh. Kepala. Herm. Teringat aku time Angah baru lahir dulu. Aku kecik lagi. Aku tak faham masalah kesihatan yang Angah hadapi. Dulu Mama Ayah pantang aku sentuh kepala Angah. Elok tangan aku je lah yang kena cubit atau babab tiap kali aku pukul kepala Angah. Ala biasalah, aku kan abang. Tak puas hati sket gua jatuhkan hukumanlah kan? Pemerintahan Kuku Besi, pernah dengar? Polisi tuh lah aku kenakan kat Angah dulu… Still do actually. =)

Bila aku besar sket barulah aku faham kenapa kepala Angah nih too valuable. Angah was born with a condition in which kepala dia tak cukup nutrients. Therefore, the skull cap did not develop properly, leaving a very soft tissue on a certain area covering his brain. Aku tak pasti ape medical term untuk mende nih. So basically ape yang Mama explains was that due to the lack of nutrients for the skull cap to develop, kepala Angah might burst given an external force applied to the affected area. A bump to the head, a nudge, or even tersentuh sket pon might poke a hole on his head. Angah was treated for almost 3 years. A tube was installed inside him going from him wrist through his neck and to a certain part of his head. Doctors would supply nutrients to his head from this tube every month. We thought after 3 years that he would be normal, that the nutrients supplied was efficient to the growth of his skull cap. It did its job well enough, but with a side effect.

Angah’s head started to deform elliptically. His forehead would start to grow horizontally, not in line with his jaw like normal people do. We we’re worried. By month the condition was getting worse. His forehead would offset his jaw critically. The doctors assured Mama & Ayah that the side effects would wear off eventually. But ‘eventually’ wasn’t good enough for Ayah. There’s not much that the doctors can do because the reaction was ‘normal’, knowing that the nutrients is taking its course. And so we waited.

When Angah was seven, now entering into the Primary School phase, his condition was still adamant. We went to the same primary, making it easier for my parent’s transportation routine. Making it in the primary years was not easy either. Budak2 tahulah camne kan? They are attracted to things they find strange or weird. The first few years Angah was taunted, called on different names. “Jendol”, “Flowerhorn”, “Badak”. But Angah was a tough nut to crack. Most of the time he just ignored them. I never had the chance to stand up for him. He never wanted me too.

A few years after that, now in his standard 4, his forehead was shaping normally. No more Mr.WeirdHead. He made the school hockey team, also hockey club president the next year. Got noticed by the teachers due to his athleticism. Also he put on weight, making it difficult for people to believe I’m his elder brother coz I was as skinny as a lidi.

"Farith Redha Bin Roslan"

I beamed as his name was called to receive his diploma. Managed to snap a pic or two. Mama was wiping something in her eyes. Must be those damn dusts that are making Mama’s eyes watery. Pakcik depan aku nih pon dok sebok ngelap mata die. Hish pehal lah dewan konvo Poli nih berhabuk sangat! =P

Keluar je Dewan Konvo, Mama dah beriya nak bergambar. You know your mom loves you when even with the heat outside reaching a 40 Degree Celcius, she still wants to take pictures with you out in the open.

Selesai snapping gambar upacara penyampaian hadiah plak. Ni yang gua jelly nih. Mama bagi Angah jam branded baru, Ayah pulak bagi Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1. Gua mampu bagi perfume dengan t-shirt jak. Mesti Angah tengah flip2 facebook guna Galaxy Tab skarang kan? Gua jelly.

He grew up with a condition doctors said that would limit his ability to think and gain knowledge. He grew up with an abnormal physical condition at such a young age, that doctors said can affect his social abilities. Well seeing Angah clenching his diploma, well-dressed donning his graduation robe, I say, these doctors have a lot to learn about the human will and human spirit.   

To Angah, I always believed in you and your abilities. Good luck in the next adventures of your life. Till then, have fun with the Tab and hoped you like the perfume! Happy Graduation You Fat Bastard!

“Abang! Ina dapat sepuluh!”

Alhamdulilah.

Hearing her voice so joyful makes me feel happy as well. Not the first time I’ve listen to the excitement in her voice. The first time I heard that tone was when she was about five or six, I think. She just lost her favourite blanket or in Malay terms “bantal busuk”. I still remember that old stinky plush with gut so. It was purple with some patterns complementing the stench it gives. Sort of like animals or aliens or something. I couldn’t really recall the details.

But it lived up to its name. You know how bantal busuk are right? Well in case if you didn’t have one, let me give you a sneak peek. It’s horribly smelly, full of saliva leftovers from who-knows-when and the moment it comes in contact with your skin, the smell stays for a good couple of days before it actually fades away!

My granny could not tahan the smell already. Now imagine that. Even an elder, provided that her incline in age means a decline in her perusal human senses, could not contain the stench it gave away, imagine what I, her bother who cannot resist the cuteness for the-then cute little sister, have to endured to get close to her. So what my granny did was she took the bantal busuk in the wee hours of the morning before my sister wakes up. She sental the germs & saliva & what other incumbents which have made habitat on that pillow till it was squeaky clean.

As expected the moment she wakes up, a loud cry can be heard from my parents’ bedroom, waking up the whole house in the process to comfort her from crying. Luckily the bantal busuk was dry enough for granny to be wiggling it to my sister. She stopped crying altogether. We were expecting her to cry again when she hugged her bantal busuk, noticing that all of the usual stench, smell even frozen saliva, has completely vanish. But to our surprise, she giggled and smiles excitedly while hugging her now very clean companion, oblivious to her family members who had just been dumbstruck by her reaction. She giggled quite long though, long enough for it to get stuck in my head. She was clearly very happy indeed; despite the conditions of that bantal busuk no longer have the ‘integrity’ to be called one.

So here we are, eleven years into the present, hearing the same ol’ giggle she gave the time she got her bantal busuk back. The frequency of the giggle coincide with how genuinely happy she was at that time. And I’m pretty sure she’s as happy now as she was the day she found her old companion back.

But as I constantly remind her, as I constantly remind myself back then, getting great results in your SPM does not necessarily mean that you would have a perfect future. Clearly that your results shows you’ve worked hard for thing you want to accomplished but later in the future, you need more than just academic excellence to help you along the way. Never lose that momentum that you’ve gained all the while during your SPM preparation. Never underestimate your time in your Matriculation or Foundation as a walk in the park. Just because you’ve aced your SPM does not guarantee you even 1% that you would aced your Matriculation/Foundation as well.

I’ve known this little sis, because I have done that mistake. I have underestimated my time during matriculation. I have underestimated my time during my first semester in my varsity. I am lucky enough to be where I am now. However, luck may not always be a good companion for those who want to achieve more. Therefore, I urged you never to underestimate even your weakest enemy. Always be prepared for even the simplest of task.

Always am proud of you, in whatever you do. Always.